post holiday. T minus 3 weeks.
Survived my dad coming and going for the holiday. Not having my mom with him was really weird. I'm nervous about going home.
Thanksgiving was ok, nothing dramatic nor nothing uber exciting, just nice to spend some time with my dad. Did the usual NYC stuff: parade, eating out, window shopping and museums. wahoo.
I survived my presentation for Red's project with my group last week, I spoke in front of about 120 people about ad hoc communcation and thanks to copious amonts of xanax, enough to probably kill a small horse, I wasn't the slightest bit nervous.
My closest friend has basically told me in the indirect way people who have eating disorders tell you they have them that she has (a bad) one. She's vomiting a few times a day, doing the multiple gym trips and the good old diet thing. I know its not healthy for me to be around her, she has full blown bulimia/anorexia but is in complete denial about it, she thinks jesus will get her out of this, praying lots and running, fasting even more. I'll be seeing her in a few weeks and she'll be pretending nothing is wrong, as will I, even though she's probably lost 40 lbs in the last 3 months.
Its weird, I'm probably the heaviest I've ever been and everyone around me is quickly and drastically loosing weight, when usually its always been the opposite. Now I'm the healthy one. I never thought I'd say that.
Lots of things in my life are changing quickly, a lot about me is changing, not just my size but things I'm not even sure I have completely realized just yet, the invisible stuff is shifting, its happening even if I can't explain to myself just how, I can feel it.
Maybe being in nyc for a bit will turn out to be good for me, at the very least its really making me a lot more . . . . durable?