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December 29, 2006

they keep fighting.

heres the you i knew before my shoulder hurts. it has been like this for six months. don't know what's wrong. i sit on my ass for 17 hour a day and don't really move apart from going to pick up food. this is the ny city glamor i always heard about.

one more year. my birthday is soon. it will be even more strange. i will be alone in my room. i will get a cupcake and order some delivery and make a wish. i am almost positive. one more year. people tell me that i have so much going on and so many things to be grateful for / proud of. i just never see things that way.

not sure why.
it's never enough.
it's never good enough.

i look for people that are different from me. they are not hard to find in ny. most if not all are vastly so. i dont own 300 dollar jeans or carry purses with names on them. i am not skinny i dont smoke or do pilates. it's close to impossible for me to get along with them when we speak different languages. they just float. day for day. most. not all.

how are you? are you well? are you happy?

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. one more year.

December 13, 2006

I'm exhausted and decently bitchy.

I finished my first semester of graduate school today. *throws confetti. *


December 06, 2006

ICM Final... some documentation

So Hatti and I have been working away on our processing final. We went to Abc No Rio which is just down the block from me (a cool indie public print shop where I learned how to silk screen) and with hatti's help made my first silk screened work on plexi glass.

Last night I spent most of the night trying to get the loadString to work with flickr, I had no problem getting images from google to work, I have done that before, but finally, thanks to adam, was able to get the images to come from flickr with the proxml library and some xml. yah! We are almost done now.

I still have yet to build a light box, which I am not sure if it will actually happen now or not its last on the list, which sucks but this is life at ITP. Hatti's been hard at work on the Arduino and serial communication for the pulsing LEDs and has finished that up quite nicely.

I've been hard at work trying to also get the curves to generate a random noise effect but so far haven't found anything I am really happy with and most of it still feels very electronic and lacks a true random element which may need a simple algorythm.

We originally wanted to detect a heart rate using a HRM, but with time not on our side we switched to using an ultrasonic sensor to find distances and control the values of text which will be displayed. The text will be 100% at a distance and the alpha will fade as the sensor detects the users as more near, thus the goal is to have the text only somewhat legible from a distance and the closer you get the lighter the text becomes making it sometimes impossible to read the content of the work, I am also playing with the idea of putting images into the fade instead. The goal with that was to suggest the temporallity of humanity, a feeling of unattainablity of our memories or even at the most simple level our consistently failing health (and eye sight).

A timer was put outside the main loop which counts the millis and our images (right now I have in place some old photos from my grandmother) but content is still to be decided... Hatti was able to create a rad jitter effect to suggest an old technology of projecting non-digital film.

This project was originally inspired by the theme of death which has been at the forefront of my life over the last year. My grandfathers sudden death recently and my mothers battle with cancer where death has become a central topic of our long distance phone conversations for months now.

The irony of death is that we all are facing it, it is a universal vulnerablity as a human being, yet its never in the forefront of our thoughts. If it was, and we carried that with us on a day to day basis, how would we live our life differently?


changing the world, one keystroke at a time

I'm starting to think more and more, that if I am wanting to change the world, sitting in front of my computer is the last thing I should be doing.

I've been looking a lot at what to do this summer, theres what I feel like I should be doing, which is what everyone else is doing: working at google, yahoo or apple and what I want to be doing: traveling.

I've started interviewing for part time jobs next semester, even with 18 credits I feel like I can work at least 10-15 hours more and have enough in the bank to leave for the summer as long as I budget it right.

Stef and I have been talking about summer plans, probably spending 2 months in Denmark, and 2-3 months going back to Nepal and Tibet or Pakistan. The Karakorm Highway on bike still really looks appealing as does riding to Laos from Kathmandu. Problem is the rain season starts in June which is about when the trip would be starting so maybe that won't happen this year.

Anyone know much about grants or fundrasing?

December 05, 2006

Well, I got my claymation rendered at low res, so its working FINALLY but this basically proves to me I really do need a new computer after all. If I end up taking any sort of video or animation next semester, this system I have just won't cut it.

I just spent something like 20 hours trying to get this thing to output, thats really insane and a total waste of life.

Thanks Marianne, I ended up using your suggestion, however it doesn't play on OSX, at least it plays!

Now its onto my Processing and I have some major work to do. eek!

December 04, 2006

damn it addie and your ideas!

So I somehow thought it would be brillant of me to do a Claymation for my Computational Media class project since I've never worked with it before...

The actual shooting went fine, the models worked ok, and I spent all weekend putting it together, making a soundtrack and then, whats this...?! My computer doesn't have enough virtual memory to render ANY of it?

great, just great.

I should of stuck to flash, stoopid clay!