they keep fighting.
heres the you i knew before my shoulder hurts. it has been like this for six months. don't know what's wrong. i sit on my ass for 17 hour a day and don't really move apart from going to pick up food. this is the ny city glamor i always heard about.
one more year. my birthday is soon. it will be even more strange. i will be alone in my room. i will get a cupcake and order some delivery and make a wish. i am almost positive. one more year. people tell me that i have so much going on and so many things to be grateful for / proud of. i just never see things that way.
not sure why.
it's never enough.
it's never good enough.
i look for people that are different from me. they are not hard to find in ny. most if not all are vastly so. i dont own 300 dollar jeans or carry purses with names on them. i am not skinny i dont smoke or do pilates. it's close to impossible for me to get along with them when we speak different languages. they just float. day for day. most. not all.
how are you? are you well? are you happy?
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. one more year.