I'll tell you that i feel like i've been chasing a ghost too for the last little while. seeing things that aren't there. distracted by spectacle and smoke signals. solid from a distance, empty and waivering up close. and i can say that when you do it to yourself enough, see what you want to see for long enough, it sort of becomes impossible to discern what's actually there. so eventually, you find yourself taking what you can get, when you can get it.
and that's the problem with ghosts. the feelings are real. but they're for nothing.