So I was not all that pleased with this assignment about going to see The Waterfalls, mostly because I could not shake the words of my late one-time fiancee Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes, who once told me, by the roar of the fire of my house she had set ablaze, “Gordie, don’t go chasing waterfalls, stick to the rivers and the lakes that you’re used to.”
I still miss you, Boo.
But Marianne being heartless, I made my way to the Brooklyn Bridge to see if I could see what these “Waterfalls” were all about.
I’m a walker; I really like to walk, so rather than take the rat-tunnel train to Brooklyn and approach the bridge from the B-side, I walked downtown and walked over the bridge.
Walking across the bridge affords one a great view of the city, and over the course of the trip, great views of three of the “waterfalls”, but it always a little weird doing so because it’s usually a little crowded on the crossing, and the experience evokes a scene from a disaster movie. You know, those movies in which some disaster has befallen the city, and refugees go streaming out of Manhattan to try to escape whatever is threatening the city.
This feeling always gives me the urge to start running while pointing frantically over my shoulder and screaming,
“GODZIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLAAAAAAAAAAAA!”
Where exactly are these waterfalls I keep hearing about?
Fortunately, before I started screaming and instigating a panic, I wheeled around and my eye caught the twin lights of the WTC tribute, and realizing that it was the evening of September 10, the night before a day New Yorkers tend to be a little sensitive about, I restrained myself.
I made it across the bridge without incident, and made my way around to Pier 1, which offered an excellent view of the waterfall under the Brooklyn Bridge, and decent views of the other three. The structure of the one under the bridge was impressive, so I guess the artist deserves some credit for the accomplishment, but I wasn’t overawed by the experience. But it did make me think of the worst scene in one of my favorite movies, Michael Mann’s 1992 version of The Last of the Mohicans, which stars the greatest actor alive today, Daniel Day Lewis.
In the scene, which is supposed to be very romantic but I have a hard time finding it so, Hawkeye (DDL) and his love Cora Munro (played by the lovely Madeline Stowe) are huddled with their company in a cave under a waterfall trying to hide from a Huron war party led by the villainous Magua, who has sworn to “put the children of Grey Hair (Cora’s father, Colonel Munro) under my knife.” As Magua and his murderous fellows are approaching their hiding spot, Hawkeye tells Cora, in effect, “here’s my plan, I’m taking off with my dad and my brother, and we’re going to leave you in the path of this dude who’s sworn to kill you and your sister. If he doesn’t kill you right off, do whatever he says….and I mean whatever he says…and I WILL FIND YOU!”
(Shockingly, this works, but then again, he’s Daniel Day Lewis, dammit!)
Only the great DDL could get away
with running out on his lady when things get tight.
This leads to the best scene in the movie, because Magua in fact does not kill Cora right off, but rather takes her to the chief of the Hurons, the great Sachem, and announces his plan to burn the Munro women (both Cora and her sister Alice) in the tribe’s ceremonial fires, and then lead the Huron tribe on a capitalist-imperialistic path that will make them “as strong as the whites, no less than the whites.”
At this point, Daniel Day Lewis shows up, and morphing into a combination of Bono and Karl Marx, invents socialism on the spot by castigating Magua with the words:
Would the Huron have need for more land than a man can use?
Would the Huron make his Algonquin brothers foolish with whiskey and convince them to trap all the animals in the forest and trade their furs for beads and strong whiskey?
These are not the ways of the Huron. These are the ways of the Yengeese and La Francois and their European masters infected with the sickness of greed!
Magua’s heart is twisted…and in his anger, he would make himself into that which twisted him.
I am Nathaniel of the Yengeese; Hawkeye, adopted son of Chingachgook, of the Mohican
people …This belt, which is a record of my father’s people’s time, speaks for my truth.
Sadly for the Huron, Sachem heeds Hawkeye’s advice, thus dooming his people to two centuries of oppression by capitalist-imperialistic white men, which only ends when the Huron build casinos and rob the white man of his money, thus in effect, finally adopting the path Magua laid out for his people long ago.
While I was pondering all of this, darkness descended on the city, which presented the Waterfalls in their best light. All lit up in the darkness, the structures of the ones in the distance rendered invisible, each waterfall seemed like a torrent of light cascading out of a slit torn open in the low-hanging sky by some deity.
And I thought to myself, the only way these waterfalls could be more beautiful would be if the artist chose to project a series of images on these curtains of water…perhaps a film…maybe even a great film like…
The Last of the Mohicans.