Objects

I would call myself a collector. I have a hard time letting go of trinkets, memories, and people. My bedroom walls are covered in photos, collages, notes, and drawings; every surface has a dish for jewelry or lighters or rocks, and in the corner of my room, I have a classical-style bust of a woman’s torso. The first thing I do when I move into a new place is decorate my room with the physical manifestation of my memories. But sometimes memories sour and their ornaments simply become reminders. I wrote this poem in a moment when I felt very similar to those objects left behind, and left on display. 

I write poetry to process emotions and often start a poem by writing a bunch of phrases to describe a current feeling or memory I’m sitting with. From there, of course, I rewrite, cut, and write more… but a lot of my time editing is spent arranging, much like I arrange the ornaments in my room. I saved 11 versions of Objects throughout my time working on it. Even when I had the final poem, the one I was truly happy with, I still thought about the previous 10. Together they show a process, but apart they are just a memory or an underdeveloped feeling. I wanted them to be included in the composition for Objects, but also to be situated as unlike the 11th poem. So, I created 10 collages to introduce it, using the 10 poems and photographs from my camera roll. I chose pictures that were related to the imagery or specific phrases in the poem, like pictures of myself, my bedroom wall, physical collages, and relevant art / artifacts I had captured while traveling, such as Bernini’s statue, The Abduction of Proserpina. I wanted to layer my memories while also placing myself as a character in conversation with the objects I felt so similar to.

Those 10 previous versions are mainly decorative, consisting of photos that are probably on my wall and words that are difficult to read, but they carry a feeling still, something necessary. At least, that’s how I see it… though I do have trouble letting things go. 
The first 10 versions of Objects are ornamental, so that the 11th can arrive with purpose.