And then one day Alice grows up and goes to High School..
“Wake up Alice, wake up! You’re going to be late to school,” said her mother. Wake did Alice do to get ready for school. She now was in high school. She didn’t get too much sleep anymore, her dreams were shorter and days much longer. She liked school, she liked learning but it felt like, like something was missing. She didn’t see her wonderlands anymore; she couldn’t get through mirrors. She had learned a lot in school. She knew that only reflections could be seen in mirrors not wonderlands. She knew rabbits did not run around with a pocket watch talking to themselves. She knew more than that too. She was learning her history, her literature, math and art and so many other things that were very exciting. But she was so caught up with learning that she started wondering whether learning really took place or not. Why did she have to give up one in order to have the other? Why couldn’t Alice wander in wonderland and learn consciously at the same time. She hated the queen yet she was being educated by kings and queens with the same banking concept the queen imposed upon her cards – – yet she called it learning or teaching, being taught. After all wasn’t it the banking concept that led her to question everything. Didn’t she read those books in that system?
There still seemed to be signs that led to wonderland though. Alice was not yet completely lost. She still was curious, she still asked questions. But was she way too conscious for learning to take place? Or could learning still take place but this time instead of giving Alice simple pleasure, was it going to give her pain? She found pain in knowing as she grew up. The more she knew, the more she knew she didn’t know. Years ago in Wonderland Alice learned for the pleasure of learning, simply just to know: the sound of a bird or the colors of all the flowers; simple things gave her happiness. She still loved learning, but now it meant more then just pure happiness. It associated more with achieving. She still loved learning for the sake of learning but it was a different kind of learning, a more conscious learning. Alice still did want to know everything but her definition of “everything” was quite different. Knowing meant knowledge to her supposedly grown brain. It wasn’t the colors or the sounds, the simple A B Cs she wanted to know, it was more; Alice wanted knowledge; she wanted wisdom. She didn’t live those wonderlands anymore; she tried going back to them. She tried remembering them by reading, by knowing. Alice felt that learning now was expected from her, it wasn’t a simple enjoyment anymore; it was a requirement, an expectation. Learning was waking up six in the morning and going to school. Was Alice loosing that simple Alice taste of learning? Was Alice growing?
Alice was afraid perhaps. Afraid of growing, afraid of time. When Alice was “Alice” time seemed to be endless, it had no boundaries. Alice had all the time she wanted and she was very eager to grow up. It was panic she felt now that she had grown a couple of inches. She panicked thinking that time was passing by and that there was not enough of it to do things that she liked and enjoyed. She was very afraid that one day she would have to leave without knowing everything. She never used to worry about it before. She took pleasure out of things she did know, she was proud of them.
Alice did go to school that morning. She did get taught. But all day long, the question “What am I learning today?” did not leave her alone. “Did you do your homework Alice?” her teacher asked. “Yes, I did.” “So tell us please, what happened at the War of Devolution?” “I don’t know. I wasn’t there.” “Wrong answer Alice!” “What is one and one and one Alice?” “It’s one.” “Incorrect Alice, it’s three” “But all of them are unique, they’re one!” The day passed by in confusion. Another day, another hour, another minute just walked away from Alice as she stared at it not being able to say stop. She spent another day like every other day so she could “learn.” What did Alice learn today? What did she become?
Deep down, Alice still knew the way that led to wonderland. She still knew that rabbits could have pocket watches. She knew there was much more to learn in wonderland then she could ever learn in textbooks. But she also knew that she needed those books. She needed them so she could find the path to her own books, to knowledge. She needed them to remind her “the more she knows, the more she doesn’t know.” The more she learned, the more she needed to learn. Every time Alice thought she got closer to knowledge, it flew away, leaving Alice breathless, leaving her in pain. “Knowledge” seemed to be far away like a twinkling star. It always left Alice in wonders, leading to more questions, less answers.
Alice indeed did have to wake up to learn. But was it really her dreams she had to wake up from or did she have to go back to those dreams to learn, to become…