Principles
Q: Do you find any of these principles more difficult to achieve than others in your own creative practice? How?
I find many of the principles difficult to achieve or maintain. For example, I don’t do very well with change, even though I agree, that change is constant, and to the extreme, Change IS god. I am not very good at adapting to a new environment, and often time, before I noticed, everyone around me had already become friends but me. Thus, when I am finally used to something, it hurts a lot to lose it. I think I’ve accepted Change is constant, but it is still difficult.
However, in terms of my own creative practice, I find “There is always enough time for the right work” to be the most challenging principle out of all. I spent the last 3 years in an MFA painting program, where you meet with two advisors bi-weekly to talk about your works. Where curators and gallerists come into studios to judge and find something that they can make use of. I always felt behind, as I was a slow painter. I learned to adapt to the speed, and told myself MFA was all for exploration, I can take as much time as I want when I’m out of the program. I graduated from the program more than a year ago now, and I’ve stopped painting completely, as I don’t remember how to get back my patience, the natural way that I used to paint. When I paint now, I always lost patience within a week, and so my work became gimmicky and fast. I feel conflicted, as they are now more contemporary, but is this really who I am, or had I become a product of an MFA factory?
Elements
Q: Without overthinking it: which of these elements brown describes most immediately feels evident as part of your creative work, and how?
I found “fractal” and “interdependence and decentralization” the two elements that feel more like part of my existing creative work. In my own practice, I focus on my response to little things that happened around me. Trivial things that happen in corners of our society that I believe are foreshadowing the future of our society as a whole. As a first-generation Asian immigrant in this country, I also find the idea of “who we are and how we share” a constant question I try to answer in my own creative work. I’m well aware of my difference from the existing Asian-American community in the country, but also aware of others’ profiling and expectations of me for being an obvious female Asian. I don’t want to overwhelm people or annoy people with my work, but at the same time I want my work to influence the people who see it, so I’m constantly looking for angles in presenting things.
“I’ve stopped painting completely, as I don’t remember how to get back my patience, the natural way that I used to paint.” This is so unfortunate. It sounds like your confidence was shaken through being asked to work in a specific way.
” I focus on my response to little things that happened around me. Trivial things that happen in corners of our society that I believe are foreshadowing the future of our society as a whole” this seems connected to your contemplative methodology manifested in your previous slow painting pace.
“I don’t want to overwhelm people or annoy people with my work,” – why not? What is it that deters you from wanting to challenge people in uncomfortable ways?
Jaye, I really resonated with your thoughts on “There’s always time for good work.” I also feel that when I am rushed in my creative process, I end up doing nothing. I think that when we have an idea we are passionate about or believe in, we should see the idea through, because there’s always time for it. I hope you can find your patience again one day, and paint the way you want.