A few nights ago, I went out for dinner with a friend for the first time in… I really can’t remember. We decided on a place in Chelsea where a friend works, to catch up over some food and a few drinks. Nothing crazy, as it was a Wednesday night, and I wasn’t looking to cut loose – just hang out, and support the local economy.

When I arrived at the spot (a casual French bistro) there were sidewalk and streetside tables, as expected, and they were fairly busy even inside, so I asked the hostess how long the wait was for a table for two, and she said about 45 minutes, more like an hour.

An hour. On a Wednesday night. In a pandemic. Did not expect that.

My friend arrived shortly, and we grabbed a few drinks and an appetizer nearby while we waited for a table to free up, which indeed, took an hour.

It’s difficult to describe the combination of feelings: there was of course, the anxiety and apprehension of being out in public, and indoors no less. We took the appropriate precautions and there were plenty of partitions and distancing of tables, so it didn’t feel reckless – but the place was busy – like weekend-busy on a Wednesday night. I was definitely conflicted, knowing full well that the pandemic is far from over, but trying to enjoy some semblance of normalcy, and some much-needed social interaction.

That said, it did feel really good to be out again, and enjoying a great meal and IRL company. Despite my nagging concerns, it was such a welcome feeling to do this again. Still, it was surreal, not just because of the physical incongruity of being sandwiched between Plexiglass sheets as we ordered table service from our phones. This was something I remembered doing so often, but now felt alien, even transgressive. I tried to set aside the worry and the moral self-scrutiny and just enjoy it, because in all fairness, there was a lot to enjoy. The food, the conversation, the people-watching: there was an energy I hadn’t experienced in so long, even in other situations like a busy day at the park.

This energy, for want of a better word, this is what I’m trying to explore with my thesis.