ITP Thesis Archive 2024

Abstract

A Synthesis of Everything I Care About brings to life the stories of people we have around us but about whom we don’t know enough. They speak to the many definitions of love and the different kinds of love we experience as humans. Their accounts are real, they speak to us, and help us feel the humanity we all have in common. With this project I wanted to see how listening to each other can foster more understanding, connection, and eventually love. I was curious to find out “What do we risk when we offer the small act of love to someone who needs it?”

 If I had to ask that question of others, first I had to answer it myself. I thought about my experience with love and I’ve realized that even though I want to maintain a loving attitude, sometimes it’s hard. I thought of it as a kind of mask because in my heart I knew there was love. Another thing I noticed is that loving is not always easy or pleasant; it often requires effort, time, and energy. I thought of it as a kind of sacrifice because when we love, we can and we do persist through all kinds of adversities. Lastly, I thought, even in the moments when I don’t feel loving, when it’s difficult and would rather give up, if I remember whom I aspire to become and how I want to carry myself in the world - love comes through because it’s always there. It just needs a nudge to be awaken and it becomes a gift.

These three: the masks, the sacrifice, and the gift - became the frameworks through which I pursued my investigation and the foundation for the questions I raised in my conversations.

The result of over 20 interviews (32 hours) was an audio / visual installation and performance where the audience could experience the stories in an intimate setting while seeing the people who spoke to them in projections of their portraits playing on the center piece installation called "The Confessional." The audience could also step into "The Confessional" space - a circle of 10 ft in diameter, set up with comfortable sitting, carpet, and enclosed in dark satin fabric - to share something personal with the artist while viewing the projection of the portraits from the inside. Special lighting and an incredible soundscape designed for the project filled the room with ambience.

Technical Details

Unreal Engine (DMX lighting and audio sync); Mad Mapper (Projection); 10 ft in diameter Iron ring for installation, fabric; DMX Lights; Audio Mobile Rack + Spatial Speakers; Optoma Projectors; Adobe Suite: Premiere Pro, Audition, Lightroom, Photoshop; Audio Recording Devices: Zoom Recorder, Lavalier Microphones; Fuji GFX 50S

Research/Context

My Christian tradition, my studies of psychology and various spiritual texts, as well as my Buddhist training and practice of mindfulness and meditation, inform the symbolism of “The Confessional” setting that sets the stage for the project, both the interviews and the final presentation. Confession is a ritual practiced by cultures across space and time. The act of confession invites a deep investigation of self, coming to terms with parts of ourselves that are difficult to acknowledge even to ourselves (take masks down, sacrifice the ego), yet in doing so we become free from inner burdens (the gift) to then be able to feel more connected with ourselves, with others, and ultimately love. To confess means to be “bluntly truthful”. The confessional is not about the process; the confessional is a tool for people to become truthful with themselves. The same principle of investigation, truthfulness, and wise action, applies to love and in love. This symbol became the metaphor and the vehicle for some of the conduits for the practice of love and this very project, namely the necessity to be listened to, to be understood, and thus loved.

Further Reading

"All About Love" by Bell Hooks
"The Art of Loving" by Erich Fromm
"Works of Love" by Soren Kierkegaard